


Call me Stupid, Call me Shy

by musicalgirl4474



Series: Soldier Keep on Marching On [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Age Reversal, Angst, Bruce Wayne's A+ Parenting, Dialogue Heavy, Dick Grayson is Robin, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dick Grayson, mental trauma, mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 02:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18356951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalgirl4474/pseuds/musicalgirl4474
Summary: Jason wasn't really expecting to have to play therapist to Dick that night. But, well. Needs must."I perverted my training to kill an enemy I could have simply incapacitated.”(This is a fic in which ages are reversed. Damian's the eldest, Dick the youngest.)





	Call me Stupid, Call me Shy

“What the fuck were you thinking Birdie?!” Jason tugged his hands through his hair. “Walking out on Bruce like that- after an argument like that?!”

“What do you care!?” Dick yelled back. “You’ve tried to kill him on a regular basis! I thought you’d be the one I could count on!”

“You can count on me not to call him,” Jason growled. “But that doesn’t make you less stupid.”

“Yeah well, I already know I’m the dumbest Robin, so that doesn’t matter does it?” Jason watched Dick fold tightly into himself.

“That’s not what I said-”

“No, it’s what everyone else says.” That stunned Jason into silence. Everyone liked Dick. Even Superman, the goody-two-shoes boy scout who didn’t like any of the bats. So who in the fucking world would be saying shit like that? Dick continued before Jason could come to any sort of conclusion. “I’m not the smartest, not the best fighter, not the best strategist. I’m not the most moral or the least. I’m lackluster vanilla flavoring, so why am I here?”

“Wait,” Jason interrupted him quickly, “The fuck you mean you’re not the most moral? I know Timmy seems it, but he’s no angel-”

“But he’s never killed one of the rogues.”

Um, what? Hold on a fucking second. “And . . . you have?”

Dick looked up at him, and the smile on his face was . . . wrong. Broken and lost and tilted up to the left side, like Jason knew his own was. “Choked the Joker out. Grabbed a rope and garroted him ‘till he stopped breathing.”

“Um . . . why?” 

“‘Cause he said he killed Tim.” There was silence.

“Um . . . and, had he?”

“No, I’m just that stupid,” Dick said with a self-deprecating laugh. “But he said he had, and I knew he’d killed you, and after everything- I couldn’t lose more family. I just . . . I can’t lose anyone else!” And to Jason’s horror, the boy broke into tears, sobs wracking his body.

He pulled the boy into a hug, crushing the small, shivering form to his own body. God, he wanted to protect Dick from the world. But if he’d broken their mentor’s one rule, he may have to protect him from Batman as well. “When was this?” he asked quietly, stroking Dick’s hair.

“Two weeks ago,” he said, muffled into Jason’s chest.

“And yet Joker-”

“Yeah, he’s alive. Bruce resuscitated him. Gave him chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth ‘till he started breathing again.” And that was an image that Jason didn’t need, funny though it was, in a macabre way. Batman giving Joker mouth-to-mouth was not the problem here.

“Oh, baby bird. I’m assuming Tim knows?”

“He knows everything all the time.”

“Damian?”

Silence. Oh dear. “I don’t know,” Dick said quietly. “I’m scared.”

“You know he wouldn’t judge you. He’s killed too.”

“Before. Before he became Shadow. He can’t be blamed for that; he was doing what he was trained to do. I perverted my training to kill an enemy I could have simply incapacitated.” The last line was said with such rote-ness that Jason knew (somewhat intimately) Bruce had drilled that statement into his Robin. But Dick wasn’t Bruce’s Robin, was he? No matter that he worked with Bruce now, he was Damian’s. 

“So the argument about not wanting to follow in Batman’s footsteps was a catalyst. Just the bullet that tipped the scales.”

“I do everything wrong,” Dick muttered, mushing his face even further into Jason’s ribs, pushing him back a step. “I’m a mistake. He never should have taken me in. Should have left me to the foster system.”

“No, baby bird. No, you’re just human, like the rest of us. Like Tim, like Damian, like me, and yes, like Bruce.”

Dick groaned tiredly. “But you all have something I don’t.”

“What? What is it that we have that you don’t?”

“Lackluster vanilla flavoring, remember?” Jason didn’t think that answered his question, but Dick seemed to have gone back to clutching at him so tightly it seemed to was trying to climb inside him and away from this cruel, cruel world that seemed intent on taking all happiness away from him. No need to upset him any more just to satisfy his own curiosity.

“Let’s get you into bed then birdie,” he said instead, picking Dick up under his legs. “Things always look better in the morning.”

“It’s already morning,” Dick said thickly, still fighting through the last few tears coursing down his round cheeks. ‘Cause he was still just a Goddamned kid. God damn Bruce.

“Of course, you gotta go literal on me, you cheeky little bastard,” Jason muttered, and Dick smiled tiredly, not that broken, half-mad thing from before, but a soft, strained smile that fit much better on that face. “But I happen to know that things tend to look better once the sun’s up.” He dropped Dick on his bed, he wasn’t adverse to sharing as long as the Robin kept his bony little elbows away from his face. But he had one thing to do before getting some rest himself.

The phone rang out the first time, and the second. After the third time, Jason left a very angry and loud voicemail. He picked up on the fourth call.

“I was sleeping,” Damian said, reproach heavy in his voice. “This had better be important Todd.”

“Dickie’s not in a good way, Big D,” Jason said quietly.

“What happened?!” immediately, Jason could hear the fear in his elder brother’s voice, as well as rustling that meant the man was getting out of bed in a hurry.

“Had an argument with Bruce.”

“That’s not exactly a new experience for us,” Damian said wryly. “Why did this one freak him out?”

“Well, see, the actual argument isn’t the problem.”

“Then get to the point Todd. I am not possessed of infinite patience.”

“It’s not . . . I’m trying to figure out how to word this!”

“You did not think of what you were going to say the first three times you called me? Just say it. Like a band-aide, as Tim is so fond of saying.”

“Robin killed Joker two weeks ago.”

Silence.

“Bruce resuscitated him, but obviously things’ve been pretty tense between them. Alfred didn’t tell me much when he called to let me know Robin had left the cave, but apparently he said he didn’t want to follow in Bruce’s footsteps, and-”

“Cease your rambling,” Damian spit sharply. “Robin killed the Joker!?”

“Yes?”

“Why was I not informed of this?” Jason shrugged, even though his brother could not see him.

“Ask Timmy or Bruce. Dick himself is a bit of a mess, obviously.”

“I am coming over.”

“Damian no, he’s worried-”

“No arguments, Todd. That is MY Robin that’s hurting, Allah knows what kind of things father’s been yelling at him these last two weeks.”

“Something about perverting his training. Look, Dames, I know you want to help, but Dick’s really not up for-”

“I know my Robin better than you do, Todd. I will help him through this.”

Jason sighed. “I know. But maybe, like, don’t startle him? I’m a bit worried about his mental state at the moment.”

“I will be careful,” Damian said dismissively. “Expect me within the hour.”

“But I wanna go to sleep,” Jason whined, closing his eyes.

“Then leave one of your windows unlocked. But I am coming. Good-bye, Jason.” He hung up.

“Yeah, sure bye.” Jason muttered, turning off his phone. God, why did he always fuck things up? Well, to be fair, wasn’t that why he had called Damian in the first place? He didn’t know a thing about killing-guilt. (Well, occasionally, but not like what Robin was experiencing.) Damian would be best to help him through this.

Dick was stiff when Jason slipped into bed. “Is he angry at me?” His voice was so small, Jason almost missed it.

“No, baby bird. He’s worried for you, and angry at Bruce-”

“He’s always angry at Bruce.”

“-and he’s going to come over in about an hour.”

“You didn’t leave him an entrance, did you?”

“Where would the fun be in that? Now get some sleep birdie. Things will be better when you wake.”

“That’s not true,” Dick said, but he turned to face Jason and snuggled up to him, resting his head on his shoulder, a weight so small Jason wondered that the boy was out on the streets of Gotham almost every night. He latched his arms around Dick’s shoulders and the over-large shirt he had given the boy to get him out of his rain-soaked Robin uniform earlier. 

“You’ll be okay,” Jason said, rubbing Dick’s small back. “You’ll be alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was me taking the bit in Nightwing's timeline where he kills Joker and Batman resuscitates the villain and putting it in this universe. Thoughts? Comments and kudos are Love.


End file.
